The unexpected side of having a stroke: Disappointing Reactions by Loved Ones

A lot of times when people think and talk about what it would be like to have a stroke, only the obvious aspects are included in the conversation. Things like weakness, and memory issues are discussed while topics about the emotional, or financial impact aren’t. In truth there are many different facets of having a stroke that should be talked about as many stroke survivors experience them. We should include these topics in the conversion to ensure that stroke survivors aren’t blind sided. In this blog post we talk about how some people react to the news that you have had a stroke in ways that can be disappointing and hurtful. We discuss how it can affect you in your recovery and what to do if this occurs.

When you have a stroke or an illness of some kind, your family and friends are supposed to be there for you, however that is not always the case. Not everyone is willing to be in your life after an event like a stroke takes place which can really hurt. When I was recovering from my stroke, certain people in my life began to distance themselves from me. People who I thought would be there through it all and who have been in my life for forever. Whether it was due to the stress of being close with someone who has had a life threatening event or because they felt like the structure of our relationship had changed, it was super hurtful. Having someone you love abandon you is one of the worst feelings especially when you’re recovering from such a life changing injury. Having a stroke is already a massive shift and change in your life, so it can be super hard to add onto that by having the nature of your relationships also change.

When this happens it’s important to consider whether you want that person to be in your life. It’s a good idea to take a look at what that relationship now means, and whether the person is adding positivity to your life or stress. Although it may be hard, It’s also important to think about their mindset. There are many situations where a loved one has good intentions, however that person may find it scary to watch someone they love be in pain especially from a stroke. Sometimes people will distance themselves to avoid this fear and a conversation with them about what your stroke entails can really help. If you decide that a conversation is warranted, then explain to them how their actions are making you feel. Explain how you want them to be there for you during the recovery process and how when they’re not there for you it can be very hurtful. If they are unwilling to change and their actions reflect that then it  might be time to remove that person from your life. This can be really sad but remember if someone close to you is adding negativity in your life especially during stroke recovery then maybe that’s not someone you want in your life. 

Nicole Blatta

Nicole Blatta is a 19 year old Stroke Survivor. She was drawn to the Stroke Recovery Association of Manitoba through the young stroke survivor group. Nicole is a third year university student in Asper at the University of Manitoba, working towards a degree in business with a major in marketing and a minor in entrepreneurship/small business in hopes that one day she will run her own business.